regan

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 00:15:11 GMT

a year ago to the day i wrote this! i did not realize that until i just went back to copy this. i guess life really isn't random ;P

life isn't random.
energy isn't just bouncing around, it accomplishes
tasks, it has purposes that transform once completed.
once i had seen what the forth dimension meant and learned
about everything up to infinite dimension. ten years later
it still has a profound effect. without the endless supply
of coordinates, square one is all that exists and will.
stasis
but i'm not there now. my world is very four dimensional
at the present. there you go, great example: at the present.
my life exists in space and time, at the present ;/

/wow that was an edit and totally not what i set out to write about/

when you come across something you can interact with,
find how you coexist within it,
see how it gave rise to you,
see how you gave rise to it.
won't helping one help the other?
won't hurting one hurt the other?
whatever you decide to do to it is what you,
in the full cycle, do to yourself.

long story short.
i saw my needs in her. didn't help.
i blew that chance.
and now that i am able to help, i can't,
it would just be words.
fuck that, its never too late

I FINALLY SAID I'M SORRY TODAY.
it was wonderful.

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 08:04:29 GMT

its appalling when you look at obesity in this perspective...

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 05:20:09 GMT

muscle man and me

i saved his life once

Fri, 21 Oct 2005 21:34:15 GMT

http://addictinggames.com/heromachine2.html

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 20:06:59 GMT

life as i knew it had to be put back together.
i'm back where i left off albeit a bit wiser.

and i'm in texas again.
and i've dropped out of school twice since you last heard from me.
and i'm happier than i've been in years.
i know what i want again.

peace.

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 19:23:54 GMT

guess who's back
da da da daa
guess who's back

Sun, 08 May 2005 04:46:33 GMT

hello maria,
how have you been?
love,
regan

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 10:59:31 GMT

life isn't random.
energy isn't just bouncing around, it accomplishes
tasks, it has purposes that transform once completed.
once i had seen what the forth dimension meant and learned
about everything up to infinite dimension. ten years later
it still has a profound effect. without the endless supply
of coordinates, square one is all that exists and will.
stasis
but i'm not there now. my world is very four dimensional
at the present. there you go, great example: at the present.
my life exists in space and time, at the present ;/

/wow that was an edit and totally not what i set out to write about/

when you come across something you can interact with,
find how you coexist within it,
see how it gave rise to you,
see how you gave rise to it.
won't helping one help the other?
won't hurting one hurt the other?
whatever you decide to do to it is what you,
in the full cycle, do to yourself.

long story short.
i saw my needs in her. didn't help.
i blew that chance.
and now that i am able to help, i can't,
it would just be words.
fuck that, its never too late

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 21:59:02 GMT

i just deleated my journal 2 minutes ago
but then i thought of maria <3
livejournal has been a source that has arised a LOT of
suffering since i started it. maria was the one
who got me an lj code and i enjoy sharing my journal with
her and morgan. nobody else will be added and there will be
zero public entries. i don't like living on a screen.

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 20:13:24 GMT

In criticizing, the teacher is hoping to teach. That's all.
Bankei

what the hell, i needed two today.
i'm dropping astrophysics, again. to pursue it
as an unnecessary second major just to fulfill my
own desires and waste time that could be used more
worthwhile and money that my parents earned and
should enjoy themselves is completely selfish.

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 15:59:47 GMT

You can explore the universe looking
for somebody who is more deserving of
your love and affection than you are yourself,
and you will not find that person anywhere.

nuff said.

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 16:46:03 GMT

The True Sound of Truth

An old story speaks about how there are several ways of pronouncing the same phrase.
A devoted meditator, after years concentrating on a particular mantra, had attained enough insight to begin teaching. The student's humility was far from perfect, but the teachers at the monastery were not worried.

A few years of successful teaching left the meditator with no thoughts about learning from anyone; but upon hearing about a famous hermit living nearby, the opportunity was too exciting to be passed up.

The hermit lived alone on an island at the middle of a lake, so the meditator hired a man with a boat to row across to the island. The meditator was very respectful of the old hermit. As they shared some tea made with herbs the meditator asked him about his spiritual practice. The old man said he had no spiritual practice, except for a mantra which he repeated all the time to himself. The meditator was pleased: the hermit was using the same mantra he used himself -- but when the hermit spoke the mantra aloud, the meditator was horrified!

"What's wrong?" asked the hermit.

"I don't know what to say. I'm afraid you've wasted your whole life! You are pronouncing the mantra incorrectly!"

"Oh, Dear! That is terrible. How should I say it?"

The meditator gave the correct pronunciation, and the old hermit was very grateful, asking to be left alone so he could get started right away. On the way back across the lake the meditator, now confirmed as an accomplished teacher, was pondering the sad fate of the hermit.

"It's so fortunate that I came along. At least he will have a little time to practice correctly before he dies." Just then, the meditator noticed that the boatman was looking quite shocked, and turned to see the hermit standing respectfully on the water, next to the boat.

"Excuse me, please. I hate to bother you, but I've forgotten the correct pronunciation again. Would you please repeat it for me?"

"You obviously don't need it," stammered the meditator; but the old man persisted in his polite request until the meditator relented and told him again the way he thought the mantra should be pronounced.

The old hermit was saying the mantra very carefully, slowly, over and over, as he walked across the surface of the water back to the island.

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 16:03:32 GMT

Remember always that you are just a visitor here,
a traveler passing through. your stay is but short and the moment of your
departure unknown. None can live without toil and a craft that provides your needs
is a blessing indeed. But if you toil without rest, fatigue and wearness
will overtake you, and you will denied the joy that comes from labour's end.
Speak quietly and kindly and be not forward with either opinions or advice.
If you talk much, this will make you deaf to what others say,
and you should know that there are few so wise that they cannot learn from others.
Be near when help is needed, but far when praise and thanks are being offered.
Take small account of might, wealth and fame, for they soon pass and are forgotten.
Instead, nurture love within you and and strive to be a friend to all.
Truly, compassion is a balm for many wounds.
Treasure silence when you find it, and while being mindful of your duties,
set time aside, to be alone with yourself.
Cast off pretense and self-deception and see yourself as you really are.
Despite all appearances, no one is really evil.
They are led astray by ignorance.
If you ponder this truth always you will offer more light,
rather then blame and condemnation.
You, no less than all beings, have Buddha Nature within.
Your essential Mind is pure. Therefore, when defilements cause you to stumble
and fall, let not remose nor dark foreboding cast you down.
Be of good cheer and with this understanding, summon strength and walk on.
Faith is like a lamp and wisdom makes the flame burn bright. Carry this lamp always
and in good time the darkness will yield and you will abide in the Light.
Dhammavadaka

i found this one extremely apt in light of a certain matter

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 20:21:17 GMT

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 20:01:45 GMT

The best argument against democracy
is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
Winston Churchill

this lady called into C-span with her opinion of why Kerry lost.
"People are sick of the liberals in the last 40 years,
teaching children in schools that homosexuality is okay...
immigrants trying to close the hospitals because they don't
have insurance..."
i'm suprised she didn't add intergration to her list

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 04:43:58 GMT

BUNNIES!!!!!

the small one

the big one

the black pawed one

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 04:39:12 GMT

PUMPKIN!!!!

:D :D :D

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 15:40:12 GMT

Solitude is happiness for one who is content, who has heard the Dhamma and clearly sees.
Non-affliction is happiness in the world - harmlessness towards all living beings.
Udana 10

in german class the t.a., kristine, asked how many people like
to be in close relationships. 30 people raised their hand.
she then asked how many people like to be allein. i raised my hand.
i'm not introverted, i just don't want to be responsible for
making someone else feel happy. i am happy, i don't need them
elevate my happiness. i spread happiness (i.e. smiles and kindness)
to anyone but i can't make someone happy who is not.
the friends that i do have now don't ask that from me,
they're happy with who they are, thats why there my friends.

Mon, 01 Nov 2004 20:00:20 GMT

Do not speak- unless it improves on silence.

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 20:57:29 GMT

Through the power of habit
I have come to view an insignificant sperm and egg
as myself.
Shantideva

there will be daily quotes in this journal

be prepared

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 18:54:48 GMT

you know how hard it was to get out of the Lazy River
at the waterpark as a kid. you had to grab the rail at one of
the entrances and try to pull yourself out.
just thinking of a friend and their situation.
they want to get out, they know how but...
maybe they are just telling their mom
"just one more time, i promise"

sure we were all in the water but when you want to get out
you can do it

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 19:20:20 GMT

i got bunnies!!!!
the three that i wanted wouldn't get along
so i took three 3 month old black boy litter mates.
they are so adorable
i haven't named them yet...???
i dunno, i waiting until something clicks
i kinda wanna give them buddhist names that fit
their personalities. the one with grey feet is the
calm one and lets me pick him up more than the others.
then there is the left white-pawed one and he is ballsy,
the last is the right white-pawed one and i refer to him
as the big one, at first he was the wariest but he's
warming up and the other white-pawed one is shying away
now. i think i'm going to skip econ today, i never miss
that class but i am so fucking exhausted from the crutches
today. yesterday i sorta walked on my ankle, to anyone with
two ankles they wouldn't call it walking, but i think it
was way to soon to put pressure on it, it hurt a lot this
morning. okay i gotta go clean the kitchen, the floor is
covered in the cutest poo :)

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 10:41:50 GMT

its 4:30 in the morning
i am so fucking excited. i have been looking at
their pictures every 10 minutes :D :D :D
the shelter opens at 11, i have class at eight
and then i'm going to petco and the hardware store,
i'm making them a pin :)
oi vey, i need to take a nap for the next 1.5 hours.

something by my couch smells like doughnuts
not a complaint or anything

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 01:40:10 GMT

i'm adopting ryan, choco and midnight
tomorrow, provided that the males won't have
problems with each other.
i have to go for the ones that have been there
the longest, if i based it on anything else
i would never make a decision

edited, i keep adding more

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 00:09:34 GMT

cause i'm bored

I am a hybrid of:
Girl Next Door
Progressive Girl
Click on the pictures below to read more:
Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

She is a hybrid of:
Progressive Girl
Granola Girl
Click on the pictures below to read more:
Take the 'What Kind of Girl Is She?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

if you do it twice the ask different questions

Freudian Inventory Results

Genital (86%) you appear to have a progressive and constructive outlook on life.
Latency (40%) you appear to have a good balance of knowledge seeking and practicality.
Phallic (46%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure.
Anal (53%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity.
Oral (50%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence.

Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

div align="center">

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com</div>

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Type 3	Image Focus	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Type 4	Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|	18%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%

Your main type is 9
Your variant is social

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Big Five Word Test Results

Extroversion (56%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
Friendliness (76%) high which suggests you are overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense too often of your own individual development (martyr complex).
Orderliness (56%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.
Emotional Stability (88%) very high which suggests you are extremely relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Openmindedness (54%) medium which suggests you are moderately intellectual, curious, and imaginative.

Take Free Big Five Word Personality Test
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div align="center">

ISTP - "Engineer". Values freedom of action and following interests and impulses. Independent, concise in speech, master of tools. 5.4% of total population.

Free Myers-Briggs Word Choice Test
personality tests by similarminds.com</div>

Advanced Big 45 Personality Test Results

Gregariousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Sociability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Poise	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Leadership	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Provocativeness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Self-Disclosure	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Talkativeness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Group Attachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Understanding	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Warmth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Morality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Pleasantness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Empathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Cooperation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Sympathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Tenderness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Nurturance	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Friendliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Conscientiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Efficiency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Purposefulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Organization	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Rationality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Happiness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Moderation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Toughness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Impulse Control	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Imperturbability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Cool-headedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Tranquility	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Ingenuity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Reflection	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Competence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Quickness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Introspection	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Creativity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Imagination	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Depth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%

Take Free Advanced Big 45 Personality Test
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also i totally lied about not getting any cardio
i turned down the diabled cart at the grocery store
and oppted to hop on one leg with a push cart.
i was sweating by the time i was down.